Exhibit honors victims of domestic violence

The memorial will make International Falls one of four stops this year, and will be on display from October 10-14.

“This is usually a display of one year, but this is special as a 20 year compilation,” explained Meer, executive director of Friends Against Abuse in International Falls, the sponsoring organization of the exhibit.

In connection to the memorial, a one day community workshop will be conducted Oct. 14 on domestic violence and stalking issues.

There is no charge to view the 640 T-shirts that will be on display all over the Backus to commemorate every known murder related to domestic violence in the state for the past 20 years. The public is invited for self guided tours with the aid of an ongoing PowerPoint presentation and an information kiosk with domestic violence awareness literature and resources.

Meer said the exhibit is here, in part for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time to honor and remember the women, children and family members who have lost their lives to domestic violence. She noted that most people would not have time to read all of the T-shirts, but said that they all serve as a painful reminder about a silent issue that permeates all corners of the community.

“It will hopefully start a conversation,” she said.

The exhibit is also brought to the Falls by the Sheila Wellstone Institute and Minnesota Coalition for Battered Women, which publishes the Femicide Report and has tracked domestic violence related homicides for the past 20 years.

Since 1989, MCBW reports that 623 women and children and 31 family members or friends have been murdered by an intimate partner or family member. In 2008, MCBW reports another 23 women and children, two men and two family members or friends have been murdered.

“It is prevalent and it is here,” she added. “We want to educate people and they need to realize that help is available.”

Meer said that it is common for people to think that victims put themselves in a bad situation and stay too long. The problem is gradual, she said, and victims leave as a last resort when they question their safety or that of their children.

“The most dangerous time for women is when they leave; that is when most murders occur,” Meer explained.

Meer uses an analogy of the frog that will instinctively jump out of a pan of hot water. However, she said that same frog would not notice the change if the water is heated gradually to the point it is in danger.

“Things build slowly over time, and not all of a sudden,” she said.

Society also plays a role with generations who suppressed talking about domestic violence, considering it a private matter for families in the home. When physical or emotional abuse is present in the families, children observe and learn from the way their parents and siblings behave, Meer said.

The difference today, she said, is the growth of awareness and support of evidence and research. The impact of domestic violence and its toll on health, productivity, school attendance and long-term crime prevention is measurable.

The best prevention is not to wait until the family unit is destroyed and the problem is brought to law enforcement and legal system.

“Without getting into the system we can gather a lot of information and get the group support and players around them,” she said.

Friends Against Abuse operates support groups for women, men and teens. The group leaves information at hospitals, clinics, the library and other places where people might frequent on a daily basis.

The FAA staff run a 24-hour crisis line during business hours, and have 15 volunteers trained to operate the phones after hours. The Crisis Hotline is 866-778-6059.

FAA does not operate a shelter, but refers people to crisis housing through county and state social services.

Workshop

The one day public workshop on domestic violence and stalking issues will be held from 8 a.m. to 3 p.m. Oct. 14 at Backus Community Center. A $25 fee includes continental breakfast and lunch.

Meer describes the workshop as a new response to old issues. It is a way for people who work in public roles to recognize and react appropriately when they encounter domestic violence victims and offenders in their work.

Guest speakers include Deirdre Keys, a stalking response expert from Cornerstone Advocacy Service Program; and Marcus Bruning, supervising St. Louis County deputy sheriff and a trainer for the Office of National Domestic Violence Response.

Pre-registration for the workshop is required by Oct. 8. For information call 218- 285-7220 or email faaexecdir@citlink.net.