How we met ... By FAYE WHITBECK and KATIE KOLT HALL, Staff Writers

For this Valentine’s Day feature, members of the community, including married couples; one who has lost her mate; and an adoptive mother share the stories of beginnings.

JoAnn (and Monte) Bokovoy

“Monte and I grew up around a bunch of tiny little farming towns in North Dakota. [JoAnn grew up in Butte; Monte in Kief and Harvey.]

I had gone to Washington state to visit my cousins in my senior year. I came back home and my friend Pam was telling me about her new boyfriend and she said, ‘He has a friend. You should meet him.’

But I liked another boy. And he was with someone else.

Then one day Pam was going to meet her boyfriend at the lake. She said, ‘Just come with me.’ So I went and Monte was there. He was very nice and very polite. He even asked me if he could kiss me at the end of the night. But — I still liked this other boy.

Monte asked me out on several more dates, and I think I went once or twice. But then I started lining him up with my girlfriends.

February came and Monte decided to join the Navy. He still kept calling and I was still too busy. He went off to the Navy but he started writing. And I wrote back to him. We got to really know each other through these letters. And then Monte came home on leave.

I started thinking, ‘This guy is really nice.’ [Monte served aboard the aircraft carrier U.S.S. Coral Sea near the Phillipine Islands, Japan and offshore Vietnam. He continued to write to JoAnn.]

Then somewhere along the way came the words that he loved me.

My mom made my wedding dress and all of my four sisters’ bridesmaid dresses and the flower girl’s dress. Mom had eight kids! All of the girls’ dresses were in pale-green, Swiss polka-dots and white daisies.

Monte and I were married June 3, 1971, in Drake, ND, in a little Lutheran church that was available. We had known each other just shy of two years.

On Valentine’s Day, we just say ‘Happy Valentine’s Day — sure glad you’re my Sweet Pootie.’ Monte loves the song ‘I Just Called to Say I Love You.’ That makes me tear up a little.

The biggest thing we’ve done for our anniversary is just go to Thunderbird for dinner. One year, we got a pizza and six-pack, turned the radio up at home, and danced the night away. On another anniversary, Monte came with a little cooler of grapes, cheese and crackers, and wine. We couldn’t go anywhere so we just stayed in our bedroom.

Now we’ve been married 39 years. Monte says he always knew that we were meant to be together.

[Monte and JoAnn raised three children, Brad, Erika, and Dan. They lost their son Brad to brain cancer in November 2004. The couple has four grandchildren and one on the way. Monte is employed by Voyageurs National Park and JoAnn is the PALs coordinator for District 361 Community Education.]

Pele Ugboajah (and Rekiyatu Lawal)

“My name is Pele Ugboajah, and my wife (Rekiyatu) and kids have moved up from Minneapolis and now live in ‘The Falls’ — and we love it here!

Our ‘how we first met’ story is really more of an adventure than a story. I say this because my wife and I had multiple opportunities to meet and get to know each other over a period of at least 30 years, but we never actually met until just five years ago! Here’s what happened …

My dad, (the late Frank Ugboajah, PhD) and Reki’s dad, (the late Mohammed Lawal), were friends and school mates at the University of Minnesota back in the early 1970s. Like most African students of the time, once they graduated, they headed back to work in their homes in Africa — in both their cases, Nigeria — and they took their entire families with them. I was born in Nigeria but traveled to be with my dad in the ’70s in Minneapolis, and Reki was born in Minneapolis.

So we all went back to Nigeria and spent about 10 years as family friends — but throughout that time, even as kids, I NEVER met Rekiyatu!

Unfortunately, Reki’s dad died in 1983, and this led to her eventual return to Minneapolis to pursue her medical education at the University of Minnesota. She moved back in 1985 with her elder brother, Mohammed Lawal Jr.; and she has made Minnesota her home ever since. Also unfortunately, my father died in 1987, and I moved back to Minneapolis that same year to pursue my undergraduate education, also at the University of Minnesota.

Now here’s the interesting part. When I moved back, I enrolled in architecture school at the University of Minnesota, and guess who my classmate was? It was Mohammed Lawal Jr., Reki’s elder brother! He and I remained in the same class for five years of architecture school — as friends — and Reki completed her undergraduate medical education as well during that time. But throughout that time, she and I NEVER met!

It was not until an entire decade later, in 2004, that we had our first chance meeting. I was a budding new author and it turns out that Reki is also a very creative soul — in her case, poetry. I had just finished my first book, ‘The Legacy,’ and I invited her brother Mohammed to the book-launching party. He couldn’t make it, so he forwarded my email to Reki. Reki and I struck a conversation around my book and I was so amazed at her knowledge and grasp of everything literary, that I asked if she would be kind enough to edit my book. She accepted, and gave me the most powerful edit I’ve ever had. I must say, I was duly impressed.

After that, we went out on our first date, and as they say, the rest is history. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if we had met 30 years ago. Reki’s mother recently revealed to us that one of my father’s dying wishes was that if I ever made it to America, that she should keep an eye on me. I guess someone kept an eye on Reki and I, and preserved us for each other, for the right time, and for the right place.

We now live in International Falls and are raising three wonderful little kids — Ije, Obi, an Ikenna. I’m glad I met Rekiyatu.”

[Pele is vice president of human resources and Reki is a doctor at Rainy Lake Medical Center hospital campus. The couple was married July 1, 2005, in Nigeria.]

Karen Shickell (and Mike Busch and Valentina Shickell-Busch)

“The picture chosen for this Valentine feature is the first one we ever saw of our ‘Little Miss Vee,’ sent by our adoption agency in November ’06. That was how we met. We always thought it looked like she was calling out to us, ‘Here I am!’ It was taken when she was released from the [Guatemalan] hospital after a lengthy stay.

Valentina was quite premature, and they weren't sure she would survive. She was named Valentina [by her birth mother] because it means ‘valiant, strong and brave.’

We would have chosen a name with more meaning to our family, but when we heard this story, we knew she would always be Valentina! So, we gave this tiny little baby enough names to cover all the bases: Valentina, for being such a strong and sturdy girl; Michaela, for her daddy, Michael; Louise, for her great-grandmother Louise Larson, and for her grandma Janet Louise, and for her mommy Karen Louise; Shickell, for my family; Busch, for Michael's family ... Valentina Michaela Louise Shickell-Busch!! (If you ask her ‘What grows on a Shickell-Busch?’ she'll tell you, ‘Love does!’)

We held her in our arms for the first time when she was 5 months old. We spent eight amazing days in Guatemala City, getting to know each other. One of the hardest days of my life was the day we had to leave her behind, and wait for the political process to play itself out. We were told we'd have her home between April and July, but we had to wait a very long time [until November] for that phone call. [A note: Adoption politics were very tumultuous that summer. About two weeks after the couple brought Valentina home, adoptions from Guatemala were suspended.]

Like any other parent, I can't imagine life without my ‘Vee.’ Recently, she told me, ‘I have your heart, Mom.’ She's right. I gave it to her (or she stole it?!) the moment I saw that first picture of her calling out to me!”

[Mike and Karen are the owners/operators of T.L.C. Builders, Inc. (a contracting/construction company) and Karen is also the coordinator for the Falls Education Foundation & Purple Pride Fund.]

Mark (and Pam) Rooney

“I purchased a home here in June of 2003 and moved here in that September. I was 55 years old. My wife had died and I did not know a single person here other than two realtors. Naturally, I was interested in meeting someone, but had a difficult time. I dated a couple of times, but neither one panned out.

One day in June, five years ago, I went into the Koochiching County Courthouse to check on a piece of property. The woman I talked to in the Auditor’s Office suggested I go to the Recorder’s Office to check on any liens. A dark haired woman named Pam came to help me. I immediately realized she was cuter than a speckled puppy, but seemed younger than I was interested in. I tried to keep eye contact with her while secretly searching for a wedding ring. There was none!

In the next few months I made a few semi-warranted trips to her office, some were legitimate and some were fishing expeditions to gather further intel regarding her personality and availability. Once I went to get a passport. Another woman, Jan, waited on me. She was nice and efficient, but I kept looking over her shoulder at the dark haired woman in the window seat. Later Pam told me that Jan told her I had been ‘checking her (Pam) out.’

By November I couldn’t find anyone who knew her and could fix me up, so I just wrote out a card and marched up to her office window to give it to her. As I walked up to her window I saw a sign indicating she had changed her name. I thought she had gotten married! I asked her about it. She had just changed back to her maiden name.

The sweat was pouring off me as I asked her out to coffee. She replied that she did not drink coffee. Strike one.

I asked her out to dinner. She accepted. At dinner, however, we discussed religion. Not a good idea. Due to religious differences and her tender age (47), we decided to not see each other again. Strike two.

After a great deal of trauma and dozens of e-mails, the religion issue was settled and within five months we were married at the Evangelical Covenant Church.

She introduced me to her wonderful family who immediately accepted me. Through her and through my position at Rainy River Community College I also have met many wonderful friends.

We are living happily ever after.”

Sylvia Johnston (and the late Ralph Johnston)

“When I moved to the Falls in May of 1991 I never dreamt that someone from long ago would come into my life again. I was working for Fagen Inc. at the Boise mill and one morning I noticed that where I parked, a little tan-and-brown truck would pull up next to my car. A fellow would get out and we would walk to the gate together. We exchanged light conversation ... never realizing we had both worked together back in the ’60s for O&M (paper mill) in Fort Frances.

After several mornings, I realized it was no longer coincidence. Then one morning, Ralph asked me out to dinner for that night, Oct. 28.

A month later, he invited me over for Thanksgiving dinner with some friends. When I arrived, there was a tiny gift-wrapped box sitting on the counter. Puzzled, I looked at him as I was hesitant because it looked like a ring box. He laughed and told me to open it because I was going to get the ring box Christmas Eve. Inside the box was a pair of diamond earrings.

He proposed to me four weeks to the day after our first date.

Once Ralph found out my passion for the lake and fishing and love of the cabin ... Well the rest is history! We were married March 26.

In September, we found out that he had terminal lung cancer. But we had a miracle happen in our lives — he beat it and lived another 12 1/2 years. I cherish my memories of him.”

Marlys (and Phil) Olson

“I met Phil on a blind date in the Falls.

I had a girlfriend, Betty Joan Peters, and a fellow that Phil chummed around with wanted to take out Betty Joan. She wouldn’t go unless we all had a date.

I was 17 and Phil was 21, in 1953.

I can’t remember where we went on that date but it was probably the show and for a lunch. That’s all anybody did in those days. Phil was already working as a cook at the Spot [Supper Club, owned by his family].

We met in the fall, got engaged, and got married in December.

We were going to get married the following summer but my brother, Carl Breske, was in the service at the time and we wanted him for best man. He was being shipped overseas so we moved it up to December. All sorts of tongues were wagging about that.

We got married in the St. Thomas Rectory — I was a Catholic and he was a Lutheran which in those days wasn’t a very popular idea. (The late) Barbara Tessier Schultheis was my maid of honor.

We’ve been married 56 years. My advice to young married couples is to just be patient with each other — don’t lose your cool.

[Marlys and Phil both reside at Good Samaritan Center in the Falls. They have a son, Rick, who with wife Sue (Trompeter) has given the Olsons two granddaughters, Sara and Rachel.]

For photos, pick up today's edition of The Journal.