Learning to play well with others

Kneisz opened The Attention Joint / ASD Consultation Service on Nov. 2 in Fort Frances. He said that he had taken about one year off from counseling, but returned because previous clients and colleagues had persuaded him to return to work. He also wanted to address the increasing number of children who are diagnosed with ASD and that existing programs often struggle to provide prompt assistance due to patient volume.

He said that he favors a play-based model over the behavior based model that he notes is common treatment for those with autism.

“We’re the climb-in-the-crib crew,” he said. “We’re going to play and I’m going to follow your lead. This is your party kid.”

“Everybody deals with behavior in this business if you’re doing intervention, I do a play-based intervention model,” Kneisz said. “I look at behavior as more communicative than I do good or bad. Good or bad is relative. For a child who has such a hard time communicating with their world, their behaviors are often incredible chunks of communication to tell us about what’s happening for them.”

Behaviors, such as hand flapping, are often symbols of emotions such as happiness, anger or boredom, according to Kneisz. He said that it is important for parents to understand these communications and react to them in a positive way.

“The one thing that everyone agrees on unequivocally — the sooner the better. So to me that’s the key, to have a place where folks come sooner. Because I know there are mums and dads who when they go to their child’s crib they know something’s not right and pray that it’s not this. But, if it is, they need to start getting some help.”

Kneisz proudly showed The Daily Journal a small statue of a black sheep that he received as a gift from colleagues when he retired from his previous job at the Autism Service, Child and Adolescent Mental Health Program at Health Sciences in Winnipeg. He said that he was known for a unique way of dealing with even the most challenging cases, which he dubbed the “x-files.”

The name The Attention Joint is a play on words, he explains, which means both a place to learn to pay attention and also a “joint attention” strategy, where kids with ASD learn to juggle and respond to multiple stimuli at the same time.

“I like to be with them when they’re very young, newly diagnosed, so we can start teaching families to begin putting that foundation together very early on and work at natural techniques that get the child attending to something,” he said.

“To raise a child with autism spectrum disorder is almost like raising three other kids; they’re almost three kids wrapped in one. And it can cause a lot of conflict in a marriage or a relationship.”

Kneisz favors a whole-family approach that is as much concerned with the actions of the autistic child as the responses from the family. Kneisz said that he was involved in starting the Let’s Get Started program at the Health Sciences center in Winnipeg, which helped newly diagnosed families cope with the autism diagnosis and gave them information.

“It really changes a parent’s dreams and hopes in so many ways and deflects what they were thinking,” he said. “It doesn’t need to, but it does. And my philosophy was, ‘No, they shouldn’t go away and grieve, they can come right here.’”

Kneisz said that he has had mothers come sit in his office, crying, and then wipe their tears and look for immediate direction for what to do next.

He hopes to continue to try to provide information and help to local Borderland families who have an ASD diagnosis.

“The other thing that’s really big on my agenda is never ever giving parents extra. If I’m going to teach you how to help your child to become more connected, I want you to learn that giving a bath. I want you to learn that going up the stairs together. I want you to learn that while you’re putting your coat on at the foyer.

“It needs to be incorporated into what’s going on for you because many parents don’t have the additional time. They’ll work it out and that doesn’t mean there’s not added time that parents need to hook on to do some of the help, but I like to approach it from a very practical standpoint.”

Practical, and fun.

“When the kids come here I want them to have fun.”

To do that, he has a room full of toys, games and other stimuli that will allow the children to feel comfortable. He often plays games or mimics activities that the children are already comfortable with to gain their confidence and friendship. Then, he may move on to other tasks that expand the way the children interact with other people and their surroundings.

These moments, he said, are the key to interacting with an ASD child.

“For me, the underpinning philosophy is I never want a kid to ‘have to.’ I want a kid to ‘want to. If I get a kid to ‘want to’ he’s going to be back, guaranteed. It’s a much harder road to take.”

“The point is, no matter what they’re doing, if they’re pulling a string from their sock and swinging it, pull a string from your sock and sit there and swing it a little bit. Start to show them that you’re going to connect up with what they’re doing, you’re not going to make them do something different, something new. You’re going to start where they are.”

Kneisz said that he has helped very young toddlers just getting diagnosed with ASD to adults looking for relationship advice.

Services at The Attention Joint are not covered through insurance, including OHIP, and the sessions are on a pay-per-use fee schedule. It is a private consultation service, which is not affiliated with the Canadian national health care system and can be used by residents on both sides of the border.

“I think it would be nice if more of these opened up so families had options to go to and get started so that if they’re on wait lists at least until their name comes up they’re getting something. To me that’s the most important thing that you get something.”

He said that especially for developing young brains, it is important to get the tools for success and communication early.

Kneisz said that he had previously owned a chimney sweep business and wanted to get into business again because he enjoys creating something from nothing. Which is, in essence, what he is often doing while building the bridges of relationships that the communication gaps often leave unbuilt for the families of a child with ASD.

The Attention Joint / ASD Consultation Service, 335 Scott Street, Fort Frances, Ontario. He can be reached by phone at (807) 276-0418 or by email at jjkneisz@hotmail.com.