In light of Autism Awareness Month, Tom Belanger updates The Journal on his 16-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, who was diagnosed with autism in 1998
The first day of kindergarten is typically an exciting mile marker for both parents and students. It signals the beginning of what could be more than 13 years of education, trying new things, and meeting new people.
But, for a former International Falls parent, Tom Belanger, it was a difficult time knowing his daughter, Elizabeth, wouldn’t be able to do what other children her age could.
In late 1998, Elizabeth was diagnosed with autism at the age of 2. Being an educator, Belanger recalled noticing the warning signs of his daughter’s developmental delays.
“She wasn’t playing with stuffed animals, she was putting them in a row,” he said. “Her personality changed, too. She became non-verbal and was very unhappy.”
Belanger added that the toddler stopped sleeping. For days on end, sleep was replaced by tantrums and screaming, he said. “It was very difficult to deal with,” he said.
The Journal in June of 2000, talked with Belanger to learn what it was like coping with having an autistic child. At the time, Elizabeth was one of the only people in the area to carry the label of the diagnosis.
“When we last talked to The Daily Journal, Elizabeth hadn’t started school yet,” Belanger said Tuesday. “It was a very difficult time — before she started school — we knew she wouldn’t be able to do what the other kids were doing.”
Fast forward to April 2012: Elizabeth will turn 16 Wednesday and is in 10th grade. The teen may not be getting her driver’s license like many adolescents her age, but she has come a long way since her diagnosis, Belanger noted.
“She is talking, she can read — but doesn’t like to — and she is extremely sharp,” Belanger said of his daughter.
Three years ago, Belanger moved to Gothenburg, Neb., and Elizabeth joined him in 2010. As a single father, Belanger cares for Elizabeth and his two other children, Nathan, 14, and Margeaux, 11.
“The first couple weeks were an adjustment,” Belanger said of Elizabeth’s move from Borderland to Nebraska. “She is now extremely happy, but getting there took awhile.”
Since the family relocated to Nebraska, Elizabeth has been receiving “excellent care” at Gothenburg Public School, Belanger said. Elizabeth’s paraprofessional, Katherine Middleton, described the almost-16-year-old as “amazing.”
“Elizabeth understands so much more than a lot of people give her credit for,” Middleton said.
In the time the two have been paired together, Middleton said the bond she has built with Elizabeth is a special one. Middleton credits being honest and straight forward with Elizabeth as the key part to the two’s loyalty to one another.
“I tell her reality,” Middleton explained. “I let her know what is going on, and she understands. When her behavior is unacceptable, I make sure she is aware of it.”
A typical day in school for Elizabeth is structured around teaching life skills and independence. Middleton says the teen has a bed to make each morning, sets the table before mealtime, washes dishes, does laundry, and even has job sites she visits.
“At the senior center (Wednesday), she washed and filled the creamer holders,” Middleton said. “She also goes to a local church every Wednesday to fold the children’s bulletins for Sunday’s service. These jobs really give her a sense of belonging.”
As far as connecting with her peers, Middleton said she can tell Elizabeth feels what others her age do.
“If we’re doing laundry in the life skills room, Elizabeth sometimes peeks around the corner at the other kids in the class talking or doing whatever they’re doing,” Middleton explained. “Some of the kids even speak to her. I can tell it makes her feel connected.”
Middleton said that those who knew Elizabeth before would be amazed at the progress she has made.
“It is exciting for me to see the growth Elizabeth makes day-by-day, year-by-year,” Middleton concluded. “She is such a wonderful girl. Her excellent progress is enough to bring tears to my eyes.”
