Raising Gavin

“It has been such a joy to have Gavin with us,” said Denise Wilkins, co-owner of Pine Aire Resort on Lake Kabetogama.

While they love being able to spend every minute watching their lively grandson grow, Niles and Denise admit that raising Gavin is a change of pace and they haven’t been in total care of a baby for more than 30 years — when Luke — their youngest of three boys — was a baby.

“It’s different,” Niles said of the experience. “It’s been awhile since we did this.”

Nonetheless, the couple enjoys having Gavin be such a close part of their lives, but are still anxious for the day Luke and Stephanie are reunited with their son.

A call to duty

Having a son in the military isn’t unfamiliar for Niles and Denise. Their other two sons also served in different branches of the service.

“We’re very proud of our children and all veterans,” Denise said.

Luke and Stephanie Wilkins were married Dec. 1, 2007. The twenty-something newlyweds met through the Army Reserve and spent a year deployed in Iraq together before from May 2002 to May 2003.

When Stephanie found out she was pregnant in 2009, Niles said she and Luke were aware that being deployed was an option, but “they weren’t sure when.”

About five months after Gavin was born April 29, 2010, the call came for active duty.

After receiving news of deployment, Denise said her son and his wife chose to go overseas at the same time.

“(The Army Reserve) would have let them go separate,” Denise said. “But if they went separate, their family would have been apart for almost three years. They just couldn’t do that.”

Denise and Niles agreed their son and daughter-in-law probably didn’t have a difficult time deciding to both leave Gavin.

“He’s little enough so he won’t remember,” Niles said.

“They decided it would be easier on everyone if at least they were together, even if they didn’t have Gavin,” Denise added.

The decision for Niles and Denise to care for Gavin came rather easily as Luke and Stephanie’s options were limited. Denise said the idea was thrown around for Luke’s brother, Paul, and his wife, Mary, to take Gavin, however, they both work and Gavin would spend a lot of time in day care. Instead, Paul and Mary took in Luke and Stephanie’s two large Labrador retrievers.

Denise continued that as far as Stephanie’s family was concerned, her mother had limited mobility and her siblings weren’t in a position to care for an infant full time. So Denise and Niles, who Gavin refers to as ‘nana’ and ‘papa,’ opened their home to take in their grandson.

Getting adjusted

Throughout the months of October to December of 2010, Gavin stayed with his grandparents off and on. It wasn’t until Jan. 12, 2011, that he came to live with them permanently for the duration of Luke and Stephanie’s deployment.

“Generally, he has always been a very happy, easy-going baby,” Niles said.

Denise added, “Gavin has always been a good sleeper. It’s amazing. He has been such a good baby.”

Because the couple own Pine Aire Resort, juggling work between the two of them didn’t pose too much of a challenge.

“We had so much help from our customers,” Denise said. “We do a lot of repeat business and it is just amazing the help we get.”

Niles noted that June is the resort’s busiest month and Gavin didn’t start walking until July, “ so he was easy to care for during our peak season.”

Missing out

Denise said that missing Gavin’s milestones has been hard for Luke and Stephanie, but “they take it in stride,” she said.

“I send pictures twice a week and movies every couple weeks,” Denise added.

The family was able to be reunited at the beginning of November when Luke and Stephanie had a two-week leave.

Denise fought off tears when she described her son’s anticipation to see Gavin.

“He told me, ‘Mom, when I see my son, he better run up to me yelling daddy, daddy,’” she said. “Gavin didn’t run up to Luke yelling, but he did go to him right away.”

The young parents also try to Skype every other day, however, Denise told The Journal Thursday that Luke and Stephanie haven’t had computer service for several days and have been unable to see Gavin lately.

“We didn’t get to Skype on Christmas, which was kind of hard,” Denise said.

Although Internet connection is poor, Luke and Stephanie are “very good at keeping their spirits upbeat,” Denise said. “Steph said Luke gets way more emotional than her.”

Gavin also has compact discs his parents recorded for him of themselves reading dozens of stories. Denise said the recordings help Gavin to recognize his parents’ voices.

Coming home

Denise estimated Luke and Stephanie would be returning home around Jan. 15. She said they will still be in active duty for about 30 days and have 90 days to report back to their civilian jobs.

“They will have a lot of free time to spend with Gavin,” Denise said.

Stephanie is a registered nurse with the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minn. and Luke is an assistant manager at Walmart.

When the couple first return home, Niles noted, “We’ll be around for awhile so they can get acclimated, but it’ll probably be better when we’re not around.”

“Gavin is a papa’s boy,” Denise said smiling at her grandson.

As for the future, the chance for Luke and Stephanie to be deployed again is there, but Niles and Denise are hopeful it’ll be awhile before that chance comes around again.

“We’re hoping because the last one was seven years ago, that if there is a next one, it’ll be a few years down the road,” Niles said.

Denise said she doesn’t want to think about Luke and Stephanie’s return in January and having Gavin go home to Stewartville, Minn. But, just as soon as she said she couldn’t think about it, she admitted, “It will be so nice to see them all together again. I’ve just loved having Gavin such a big part of our lives. He’s an extension of his dad.”