The Great Outdoors: Is this heaven? No, it’s Target Field

The second date came March 27 when the Gophers hosted Louisiana Tech, and for one of the first times in my life, the results on the field didn’t matter. This ballpark was something else.

I couldn’t have imagined a better third date.

“Are you in heaven?” my dad texted me right after the seventh-inning stretch Monday.

I quickly replied, “Yes,” even though he knew the answer.

My old man attended the first Twins game ever at the Metrodome and we both attended the last game ever last season. He knew halfway through that first game back in 1982 that the Metrodome wasn’t fit for baseball. Playing inside wasn’t going to cut it.

Welcome to The Great Outdoors.

Sunday, April 11

11 p.m. — This day served little purpose for the Twins home opener until it was time to fall asleep. I felt 10 years old again, reliving the night before joining my dad in the deer stand for the first time. My mind wouldn’t shut off, concocting a ton of different situations that had me catching the first home run ball. I convinced myself I would hold out on giving the ball back to the Twins until I got lifetime season tickets for two seats, preferably where I snagged the memorable home run. (Turns out, it wasn’t meant to be).

Monday, April 12

10:10 a.m. — The long-time buddy who invited me to the game, Matt Molitor, had his toddler send us off with an enthusiastic rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” His kid doesn’t turn 2 until May 2, but he definitely knew more of the words and had more spirit than some of the fans in our section at the game. (Also — if your baseball juices are flowing — the answer is yes, my buddy is a distant cousin to Hall of Famer Paul Molitor).

10:50 — Arrive in downtown Minneapolis and quickly find a parking spot, which is fittingly marked No. 33. You’re welcome, Justin Morneau fans.

11:00 — It never failed at the Metrodome to run into a good friend I had no idea was going to the game. It took 10 minutes at Target Field.

11:10 — F.O.D.! First beer of the Day with Molitor and the good friend we ran into, plus his buddy.

11:45 — TEXT RECEIVED: “We are a part of history today my friend.” … Couldn’t have said it better myself.

11:58 — Kirby Jr. opens Gate No. 34 and becomes the first person to enter.

12:05 p.m. — It’s not what you know, but who you know. My old man got Molitor and I into a private Twins home-opening party in the same building where he works, catered with free ballpark food by Smalley’s 87 Club.

12:15 — Met Falls High School grad Brian Glad (’96), who works in the same company as my old man.

12:30 — Topic of discussion at lunch turned to the Metrodome and the first game in 1982. “When they opened it, at least the ceiling was pure white,” my old man said before noting the Dome was no place to watch a baseball game.

1:05 — Finally entered the field through Gate No. 34 after purchasing a game program in the Target Plaza.

1:45 p.m. — Noticed first non-Twins or Red Sox jersey and guess whose name was on it? BRETT FAVRE (in purple). I am aggressively against wearing other team’s apparel to sporting events, but this seemed alright. Everything seemed alright today.

1:45-2:30 — Arriving early to this field should be a requirement for the first two years. Hours are spent roaming the concourses. I’ve been here twice now, and probably have only seen 1/3 of everything.

2:40 — Had to make a trip around the concourse to snap a photo of I. Falls natives Stuart and Cynde Milette and Billy and Cathie Dougherty in Section 120, row 15. Trip around the field only took 10 minutes, thanks to concourses twice as wide than at the Metrodome. Plus, I didn’t miss any of the pregame festivities on the field. You can see the field the entire time.

2:50 — National anthem and awesome fly-over (see video in the video tab).

2:55 — TEXT RECEIVED: “Hoarse yet?” … And I actually was. It wasn’t my goal to have the entire stadium hear me whewing and hollering, but I didn’t care. Outside voices, right?

3:00 — Made the big screen, and I mean big — 4th largest in major league baseball — as the camera panned right field.

3:05 — Kirby Puckett Jr., Tony Oliva, Kent Hrbek, Rod Carew and Harmon Killebrew walked in from left-center field as the honorary opening-day players. I’m not a faucet when it comes to emotional encounters, but I got a lump when Kirby Puckett Jr. was announced.

3:13 — FIRST PITCH! Got another lump, but quickly let out a big Whew! Lump gone.

3:14 — From our angle in right field, Evan Peterson’s sign was the first sign ever taped to a front-row railing at Target Field. Congrats again, Evan.

3:17 — “Come on Pavano. Don’t ruin it,” said a nearby fan. Really? It took four minutes to hear a dumb comment from a Twins fan? Unfortunately it won’t be the last. At times like these I wish I was in a Milwaukee’s Best Light commercial and a giant beer can comes and squashes people like this. (For the record, Pavano gave up two first-innings hits, but he picked off one guy and escaped trouble. Far from ruining anything, dumb Twins fan).

3:22 — First time a fan got booed for dropping a foul ball.

3:30 — First Twins hit — Orlando Hudson.

3:36 — First Twins run — Michael Cuddyer knocks in Denard Span.

3:37 — Second Twins run — Jason Kubel knocks in Hudson.

3:52 — First Twins broken belt — Nick Punto snaps belt sliding into second base on a stolen base attempt in the second inning.

3:53 — Realize writing down all the Twins’ “firsts” is annoying. Time to open sunflower seeds.

4:00 — Molitor comes back to his seat with a famous Murray’s steak sandwich. He recommends it. All $10.50 of it.

4:13 — “How great is the grass?” Molitor says. It didn’t take Molitor four hours to realize the grass was green and awesome. It was just another example of a “Captain Obvious” comment made to emphasize the awesomeness. Similar comments overheard were: “How cool is this?” “Are we really sitting here?” and “How good does this beer taste?”

4:15 — For every dumb Twins fan there are hopefully five good ones. Holden Platt is a good Twins fan. The 12-year-old from Clara Barton Open school in Minneapolis owns three fantasy baseball teams this spring and was my go-to guy in the first row for a high five during Twins highlights. He was at the game with his old man, along with another father-son combo.

4:30 — Realize I don’t even care that I’m spitting sunflower seeds onto the field. Nice. Was never comfortable spitting onto the carpet inside at the Dome.

5:05 — Scarfed down a mountain-sized pulled pork sandwich. The fan ahead of me in line had the audacity to tell the pulled pork sandwich maker to stop putting meat on his sandwich. Are you kidding me? I had enough pork to feed a small country.

SIDENOTE: The initial plan was to eat as many different foods as I could find, pack on about 10,000 calories and deal with it. Terrible idea, and I’m not talking about dealing with the extra calories. I just didn’t want to waste my time getting in and out of my seat on this monumentous day. The only reason I went with the pulled pork sandwich was because there wasn’t a line (one skinny, picky eater isn’t a line). It’s going to take a good 2-3 years worth of games to dive into the entire menu. Plenty of beer venders, though.

5:08 — Clapped for a play made by Nick Punto. Might be the only time I do that all season.

5:15 — One feature carried over from the Metrodome? KISS CAM!

5:17 — “How’s the breeze right now?” Molitor says as we both sit back, smile and take in outdoor baseball.

5:25 — Conversation about Joe Mauer arises. Turns out Molitor faced him in high school and the reigning AL MVP pitched. Molitor struck out, flied out and grounded out against Mauer, who eventually hit a 3-run homer in the game to win it.

I never faced Mauer on the baseball diamond, but I did witness him laser footballs through our defense my senior year (his junior year) at a football scrimmage. Fortunately, I was still a wide receiver at the time.

5:38 — 7th inning stretch.

5:39 — TEXT RECEIVED: “Are you in heaven?” from the old man.

5:42 — I was really in heaven when Kubel launched the first homer, which landed a couple sections over from us.

5:50 — “Put me in coach,” by John Fogerty blasts over the stadium speakers for the first time. It’s got a different feel outdoors.

6:06 — TEXT RECEIVED: “Just saw you on ESPN,” from Falls High grad Jared Kostiuk. This was later confirmed by a college friend of mine who watched the game in Arizona. He had no idea I was at the game, yet he recognized me while ESPN focused in on us and Peterson’s sign for “3-4 seconds” toward the end of the game.

Mission accomplished trying to get Peterson’s sign on T.V.

We also found out later — and I saw for myself thanks to DVR — that Fox Sports North panned right field right before Joe Mauer’s first at-bat in the bottom of the first inning. You can see Peterson’s sign clear as day.

6:15 — Nearly out of money after experiencing a 5-2 Twins win, I purchased a Mauer pennant for $8.50. It actually cost $8.62 after tax, but the vender initiated his “Minnesota Nice” super powers and sent me on my way with an empty wallet.

6:30 — The voice of the Twins on Fox Sports North, Dick Bremer, is heard over the speakers saying “This is a great win and a long-time coming.” Agreed.

6:35 — “How about that weather,” Molitor said with a smile on the way out of the ballpark. It was a fitting way to end a historic day.

After watching six hours of television coverage of the home opener on Wednesday night (again, thanks to DVR), I texted my cousin who was at the game Thursday.

“Are you in heaven?” I asked.

“I didn’t believe in heaven until now,” he replied.

Welcome to Target Field.